CSU Researchers Demand Oval Change its Name to Ellipse

CSU researchers Jillian Shook (left) and Savannah Hoag make a stunning discovery on the Oval.

In a startling revelation, CSU researchers have discovered that the Oval is not really an oval, but rather an ellipse. The CSU Traditions Committee is now on the verge of officially changing the Oval’s name to the Ellipse, a development which has rocked the university.

“The Oval is actually an ellipse,” explained researcher Savannah Hoag. “An ellipse is a mathematically defined shape, whereas an oval is not.”

Hoag and her fellow researcher Jillian Shook discovered this anomaly while taking a stroll on the Oval after completing some groundbreaking research. While watching the squirrels, Shook noticed something wasn’t right.

“I was delighted by the squirrels but couldn’t take my eyes off the circumference of the Oval,” explained Shook. “Something seemed inaccurate. After further measurements, we realized that the Oval was really an ellipse.”

Researchers Savannah Hoag and Jillian Shook take measurements on the Oval.
Researchers Savannah Hoag and Jillian Shook take measurements on the Oval.

The researchers reported their findings to the CSU Traditions Committee and demanded that CSU change the name from the Oval to the Ellipse in the name of accuracy. A fierce debate has raged ever since.

“I proposed to my fiancé on the Oval and have so many great memories there, so I’ll be darned if they change the name,” fumed Matt Flick, CSU Traditions Committee member and 2011 CSU graduate.

“Facts are facts,” countered CSU Traditions Committee vice chair, Lisa Hansen. “I respect that the Oval is a meaningful tradition, but we have to defer to science over sentiment.”

As the debate continues, further meetings are planned and a decision is expected by mid-2025.