It seemed like a normal day as CSU alumni event manager Dakota Bogner took her daily walk around campus during lunch. It was anything but normal, however, when she noticed something weird on the west side of the university.
“I’m used to seeing geese lounging by the Lagoon, and maybe some people sitting around, but I was a little worried when I saw a blue whale.”
Bogner immediately called 911 and her supervisor, and although the police could do nothing, CSU researchers were quick on the scene.
“It’s a blue whale alright,” explained CSU researcher Nick Rogers. “He comes and goes, but he’s there.”
Other witnesses have confirmed the blue whale and posted on their social media, which caused a larger audience to demand explanations.
“At first, I thought a massive underground den of prairie dogs created a chasm to the Pacific Ocean, which produced a pathway for the blue whale,” explained Rogers.
Unfortunately, this theory was debunked when no sign of prairie dogs were found near the vicinity.
Rogers remains optimistic about an explanation. “My current theory involves a tunnel to the Pacific dug by giant worms the size of alligators, since there’s no way normal-sized worms could dig it. I guess I’ll need to get a shovel and find out.”
Stay tuned for further developments as they arise. In the meantime, if you want to feed the whale, he likes crackers and gluten-free bread.